Mom in Hawaii

Shirley Justine Knapp
Aug 17, 1939 – Mar 21, 1996

That hair. Her silliness. Those hugs. I miss those the most.

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The switch finally happened and the lingering anxiety is gone. It took a trip home for everything to finally settle in. I’m moving back! YAY!

The Job.

I start my new/old job in FIVE days. Five. That’s it. Five days from now I’ll be wrapping up my 3rd first day with my new/old boss and super awesome co-workers. I can’t wait.

This time is slightly unique, though, because it’s the first time that I’m starting the job as a new hire. That part feels foreign to me. It’s weird not already having security access and to not already have the pee test, finger prints and background check done. It’s weird only having a general idea of where my new office is going to be because they moved since last time I worked there. It’s weird that my office won’t in that one building anymore… where it always was. I can’t wait.

But I’m excited for the change of pace. I’m excited to actually have things to do, besides the busy work I dig up. I’m excited to actually use my skills & education instead of feeling like my brains are slowly turning into mush. Did I mention I can’t wait?

The Apartment.

I found an apartment. One I really, really love. It’s the upper apartment of an old house. It has an amazing entry way, hardwood floors throughout, wide molding, and other super cool details that I can’t quite remember the name of. I’m sure my sister or my brother-in-law will remind me when I show them pictures.

Amazingly enough, the walls are already painted to match most of my decor that’s been in storage for 5 1/2 years. There are also 3 bedrooms. THREE. I’m moving from a teeny tiny hut of a house to a beautiful apartment with all the stuff I love. And three bedrooms! I get to designate a room each for gaming and crafting while still having a bedroom and living room… all while not being forced to stuff it in the space of a refrigerator box! You can’t tell I’m excited, can you?

I’ll be staying with my most amazing friend and her kids for a couple of weeks since the apartment isn’t going to be ready until 4/1. I’m in a bit of a holding pattern with the move until then. I don’t want to move anything out of my current place, up to my friend’s, only to move it again a few weeks later. I can’t keep packing because I officially ran out of space to put boxes. I have so much stuff. It’s going to prolong my official move-out date by a couple of weeks but it is what it is. At least I have my own place.

Since my move-in date for the apartment is in the middle of my work week and I’m so excited about the fact that I’m going to have my own place… I’m not even going to wait for my stuff to get moved up there before I start staying there. Air mattress and paper plates, people!

I did think about this a little. You know, about the stuff that actually would be useful for me to have in the apartment until everything else gets there. I’ll probably haul up my bookshelf, clothes, & pots/pans/miscellaneous kitchen gadgets, too… whatever I can squeeze into my car on my trip back north that weekend. My poor Prius is going to be packed! I realize a dresser would be a lot more useful than a bookshelf but I have to move the bookshelf to get to the dresser then move the bookshelf back into the bedroom because… no space. So, to simplify because I’m lazy, the bookshelf heads up first.

Happy sighs. The new chapter is starting soon. Did I mention I can’t wait?

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Bitter Sweet

As some of you (in my readership of like 12 or so) know through social media, I put my 2 week notice in at work on Monday. For those of you that don’t know… I accepted my old position and am heading back to the UP. I am excited for the move home. I am. I love my new/old job. The move is just a big adjustment that I wasn’t quite ready for. But, I’m getting there.


My week has been pretty quiet for the most part since the department is starting to make transitions to cover my daily tasks. Unless they were a Facebook friend or in HR, people I work with really didn’t hear about my upcoming move. This morning I suddenly had a quiet a few people come up to me to ask questions, wish me well, and harass me for leaving them. I found it odd that everyone found out at once… until one person finally clued me in. They put the following in our monthly newsletter (which I didn’t see because it’s with my pay stub at the main office).

March 2014

Such sweet people. I love that they even apologized for lifting a pic from Facebook! So I don’t get all sniffley again, I’ll just pull part of my FB post.

“…I really love the people I work with at MTE. I’ve said numerous times that it was never my dream job but the people there really made me enjoy where I worked. They truly have hearts of gold. I’ve never worked in anything like it & I’ll miss everyone greatly.”

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I was going through one of my old dressers tonight, making room so I can give it to D. The dresser is one I brought down when I was in a hurry last year so I didn’t really go through the drawers. I pulled out the contents of the bottom drawer when I saw it… the Baby Snoopy material I bought to make my baby bedding. I still can’t believe it’s been 10 years.

I brought the stack of material out to the living room. I was visibly upset so D asked what was going on. I explained what I found and showed him the quilt material. Of course, Freya got excited and thought the quilt was for her. I folded it up and put it back on the stack of material.

I debated for a little while about what to do with the material. I don’t want to keep dragging it around with me anymore. D’s sister is due soon but she doesn’t know what she’s having and the material is pretty boy-ish. D asked why I don’t just hang onto it in case I have a baby later. Geez. Thanks for the gut punch. Sure, I’ll just hang onto the material I had for MiscarriageBaby in hopes that I might have a kid some day. Yes, that was the original plan but I’m a little more realistic now. I’m 39 years old, moving out on my own again, and have difficulties getting pregnant. I’m pretty sure I have a better chance at getting struck by lightning.

So, after a little bit of debating I decided to that I’m going to finish the quilt & give it to Freya then use the cotton to make a cover for her bed. She is my baby, after all. Besides, the adorable meter almost busted from the number of times she ‘asked’ to look at the quilt again.

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My Crazy Girl

This video is horrible quality because I was playing and getting my feet munched but whatevs. When I grabbed my phone, she was running around like crazy and I wanted a video of it.

Around 1:10 I jumped on her like a horse. We call her Donkey Dog. Sometimes she lets me “ride” her. Sometimes she sits down. Sometimes, like that morning, she breaks free so she can circle back around to attack.

I’m pretty sure she was grabbing my feet because she hates the camera, that’s usually a game she plays with D. We taught her not to grab mine because I’m clumsy and fall over easy enough as it is. She finally knocked me over as we were walking in the house. Her game wasn’t done like I thought. She just hates when I start to win. So competitive.

I only have two and a half weeks to enjoy mornings like this with Freya. I’m going to treasure every single one… even if it means shoveling takes twice as long as it should.

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