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opened notebook and pen near flower

A Year of Discovering The Authentic Self. Lesson 1: Roadblocks

I’ve sat here staring at a blank page for 5 days. I’d say that’s a pretty solid roadblock itself.

I won’t say that I’ve always been a procrastinator. That’s not true. That’s a somewhat recent thing. I have, however, always had a problem following through to finish things. I always like the idea behind whatever I’m doing but always have a hard time reaching that finish line. I’ve always called it Project ADD. I’ll work on something until I something else catches my attention and I move on to that.

In the past, like when I focused on my health, I had to force myself daily to wake up and commit until it became a habit again. I’ve been struggling with the whole wake-up & commit to anything these days so I’ve been taking baby steps.

“XYZ used to be part of my everyday life. I’ll keep adding that back, no matter how many times I fail, until it becomes part of my daily life again.”

This is something I practiced as a child when I really wanted to excel at something. I’d do it over and over and over again until I got it right, especially if it was something that my sister Bonnie could do effortlessly. I *know* she practiced hard. I recall the number her color guard rifle hit her in the head when she was practicing aerials. But she had quite a bit more natural talent where I had to practice more.

This video made me super nostalgic so I had to share, particularly around 8:20 mark. I recall her telling me, “Use your wrist! Don’t use your arm!”

… and one of my recent, and perhaps the most significant, roadblocks just occurred to me. My biggest cheerleader/supporter is no longer with us. My sister, Bonnie, was always in the proverbial bleachers during any of the life-changing accomplishments. I mean, all of my sisters were but she was the loudest, the proudest, and the least critical (except when it came to men). If I started to waver, she would give me a pep talk so I wouldn’t give up.

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