Here’s the story about Kit-Kat and her soul mate finding their way to each other after 15 years of friendship, hidden feelings, and other relationships. Now here’s the one where she got hormonal due to her PMS crankiness going abnormally off the charts since her surgery last year, over-reacted during a fight he was trying to avoid, and broke up with him. Do I blame him for not returning my calls? Not really.

I had to stop at the post office today after work.  As I was walking up to the building an old man was walking out.  He saw me coming up the sidewalk so he held the door open for me. I got up to the door and smiled and started to say, “Thanks!” when it happened. The stupid fucker looked at my shirt, saw it said Native Pride, gave me a dirty look, then LET THE DOOR SLAM ON ME. Seriously. Let the damn door slam on me.

I was stunned for a second because I couldn’t believe he just did that. The door is a heavy and it hurt when it slammed against my body. I’m so pissed my face is red. It took everything in me to keep my cool & not run after him to say something.  Instead, I hope he just shits himself in his car on his way home.

This afternoon I was visiting Bonnie’s blog and she did a Scrollback Saturday as one of her recent posts.  I thought it would be fun to look back at the archives from my old blog to see what I could pull up to post today.  I’m really wishing I hadn’t.  Tomorrow marks 4 years that I had the ultrasound that told me at 10 weeks along, the baby I was carrying didn’t have a heartbeat. Just a couple hours before I saw the entry, a friend of mine showed me an ultrasound picture so I was already feeling a bit of a sting from that.  I want to make it clear that I’m incredibly happy for the couple.  The girl is one of my closest friends and has always been incredibly supportive and sensitive - especially when it comes to this subject.  Her fiance is actually the one that showed me the ultrasound picture and he was so damned adorable and beaming with pride that I wanted to kiss his forehead.

However, my miscarriage is the one event in my life that I haven’t been able to get passed and seeing the entry and ultrasound so close together sent me into a bit of a tailspin of emotions.  It was about a year ago that I had surgery where my doctor told me that I have Advanced Endometriosis and if I didn’t want a family she’d recommend a hysterectomy.  Her advice was to go on fertility drugs so I get pregnant as soon as possible.  I really don’t want to get into everything that led to that not happening but the fact is, it didn’t.  I noticed similar symptoms recurring over the passed couple of months that is telling me that the Endo is back and I am further away from having a family than I’ve ever been.  I know there are options that will slow the growth of the Endo but I have such horrible reactions to the “treatment” options (lupron depot shots & the pill).  I’ve been stupidly avoiding my yearly appointment because I’m so totally not ready to hear my limited options yet.  Not that I’ll ever be but I know I can’t avoid it forever. *sigh*

Honestly, I really don’t know where I’m going with this entry.  I just needed an outlet I guess.  I think this is the first time ever that I’ve been thankful for having the flu or whatever this is because I slept through most of the evening and can hopefully go back to being my happy, chipper self tomorrow.

This has definitely been a trying week. Instead of this being a whining, bitching entry, I’ll post pros and cons!

Pros:

• Because of bad weather I was trapped out of town so I had a long weekend
• I’m planning a trip to Vegas in April
• I got a shit-ton of housework done
• My new debit card with my correct last name finally came in. And only 3 months after I changed my name at the bank.
• I have checks again. I never realized how much of a pain in the toosh not having checks for 4 months could be.

Cons:

• My car is urinating transmission fluid. It needs a diaper or something.
• My job has me contemplating a new career path. The kicker is I love what I do and I love my employer.
• I still have a shit-ton of housework to do.
• This winter has me on the edge of losing my mind. I can’t take the cold anymore.

You can kiss my ass. Its totally not fair that you tease use with temps in the 40s one day then give us -40 windchills just a couple days later. The thermostat in my house is set to 66 degrees instead of 70 simply because I cannot allow my heating bill to explode because you got some sort of hair up your ass.  I hate that I can’t walk around in my kitchen without slippers because the floor is freezing.  Can’t you understand that I hate wearing anything on my feet?!

I can’t even warm up in a long, hot shower because the cold pipes cool the water down so quickly.  As a result I spent the majority of my free day off curled up in bed with my heated blanket on and 27 other blankets piled on top of me. I had much bigger plans for today… none of which including sleeping it away.

And please explain why you felt the need to attempt to freeze my storm door shut but still blow snow in between that & my door?  I can definitely do without wet socks first thing in the morning courtesy of your stupid pranks.

I don’t like you very much right now.

Pissed Off & Frozen Like A Popsicle,
Kit-Kat