Last month during my hunt for somewhere to live closer to work I wondered if I was being too cautious about not wanting to live in town because of my exes. I know I can be overdramatic about things. I wanted to move so badly that I put my concerns aside and called on a few places.
I’m so thankful none of them worked out.
Yesterday during lunch I found out ExH1 followed someone to a bar, got into a fight with them and attempted to pull a gun on the person.
Excuse my language here.
What. the actual. fuck.
ExH1 is a drug addict who has a recent history of car theft (while high, claims/thought he was allowed to borrow) and breaking into houses (his sister’s) to steal pills (his niece’s ADHD meds). I get that he was close/related to the people he committed the other crimes against but still. How is he not doing any sort of time? Has he not been sentenced yet? Have the charges been dropped? Where the sentences that soft?
The possibility of me ever moving into town dropped to zero. It’s highly unlikely I’ll even go out with friends there. The thought even crossed my mind not to move closer to work at all. Screw thinking that I’m being too cautious. Yes, I realize not moving is extreme. Yes, we’ve been divorced for nearly 15 years. But who would have thought he would have contacted me & my family and asked out my sister after 12-13 of those years? Who would have thought I would have had to still deal with him at all just 9 months ago? I’m not taking any chances.
I get that in the short time he was clean that he was a nice guy and a lot of people loved him. But what I don’t get how people can still label him as a “good guy” and still defend him after everything he’s done. How can they not see that after at least 30 years of struggling with various forms addiction (and having a mother that’s been an addict since she was a teen) that the monster isn’t going to give up with what appears to be one hell of a nasty fight? I’m not saying they should give up on him. Keep praying and pray hard. But I suppose the difference between being in a long-term relationship with him and him putting on a lovable front is that you see this isn’t something he stumbled on in the past few years. You know he it’s something that’s been with him most of his life, and it’s just getting worse.