We are Living in a Material World and I am (not) a Material Girl.
Once upon a time I was an impulse shopper. If I wanted something, I bought it. If I felt like treating myself to a night out of town or going to an event, I’d do it without batting an eye. That version of me was around less than 2 years ago. That version of me seems so foreign.
Now I have to talk myself into buying things I need… things like shoes, clothes, fall & winter jackets and curtains. When it comes to something I don’t need, I have a multi-week internal debate so I can rationalize spending the extra money. If I do manage to talk myself into it, I feel guilty for the splurge.
Translation: I need and want stuff. I have the money to spend. I have too tight of a grip on my savings to do so.
No… I’m not writing another letter asking for a Wonder Woman Tutu. Eff that. I give up on asking Santa for that tutu year after year. I’ll make my own freakin’ tutu, dammit!
Today I came across a post from one of my favorite crafty bloggers. She randomly found a childhood letter she wrote to Santa that was published in a book. She recognized her handwriting, one of the items on the list and her name. How cool is that?!
It got me thinking… Would I recognize one of my letters to Santa? I know there’s no way I’d ever recognize my childhood handwriting. I recall some of the items I asked for but mostly because they remained the same from year to year. The thing that would make a letter stand out would be my name. The spelling of my first name is not the most common version. However, if I had to guess, I’d bet I signed my letters using “Kit-Kat” instead. I’m a little sad that I don’t remember.
What I do remember is the time I found my letter stuffed in the truck’s glove box because Mom’s drunk of a boyfriend at the time didn’t bother mailing it (or at least a better job at making sure I didn’t find it). THAT I remember. I bawled my poor little eyes out what seemed like forever.
I Splurged A Little.
After some work bonuses and other stuff, I had a nice increase to my income. I’ve debated on purchasing another TiVo for quite some time so I bought one last week. I rationalized that I’ll save money over Time Warner’s crap DVR service and I won’t have to deal with their not-so-user-friendly-UI cable box anymore (it’s so frustrating and slow that I stopped watching cable at my apartment). So, now that my brand new, beautiful TiVo shipped, I feel guilty for the splurge. I felt the same guilt when I bought my TV earlier this year. Both reduce frustration but watching my dollars go bye-bye makes me sad.
Now I just have to take a deep breath and go shopping for clothes, shoes/boots, jackets and curtains. If I don’t have too much of a stomach ache after that, maybe I’ll get some artwork to hang on the bare walls in my apartment.