One month ago I started this blog post. I found it in the trash.
I have these cousins. They grew up just up the road from us. The families were so close that we were like extended siblings. There were 13 kids combined, 8 girls and 5 boys. I am the youngest of the bunch. Being the youngest of that many kids, especially that many females, can get exhausting… even as an adult.
I got a text from one of the cousins a couple of nights ago as I was going to bed. “Are you looking for a boyfriend? I may have someone for you.” Looking for a boyfriend? Sheesh. First of all, I never had to look for a boyfriend. Second, if I was interested I’m too quiet and awkward for the whole set-up deal. This particular cousin and her sister made it their mission to set me up. I explained for the hundredth time that my life is too complicated to drag anyone else into it.
I stayed at work late last night to avoid heavy rain. On my way into town, I text my cousin to see what she was doing. She’s been asking to hang out and I always have a reason not to. I’ve used the excuse that I’m busy to avoid hanging out with her. Really it just makes me uncomfortable to justify my disinterest in the whole dating scene every time we visit. No matter how many times I tell her I’m not interested, she’s determined to hook me up. Beyond the fact my heart is with D, I’m less interested because she has absolutely no idea what my taste is in men. For example, their bankroll is near the bottom of my list but the top of her’s. Actually, “have the ability to support yourself honestly” is about the extent of my mental note about the money requirement.
Anyway. As a result, her husband told me that I am privileged, meaning I have an easy life. I suppose that’s an easy assumption to make.
As the night went on, I talked to my cousin about a girl’s night. She said something about getting all the men to come over and flirt with us. When I was sort of like, “meh” then explained that I hate when random men hit on me. I always have. It makes me uncomfortable. I hate it even more now that I’m not in a relationship (a traditionally relationship, anyway). Making this statement, combined with my disinterest in dating, made her hubby ask me if I was gay.
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my cousin. She’s a sweetheart and her hubby can be a hoot. I just don’t know how to get through to them about this whole dating/men thing.