If you know me, you know I can’t deal with watching anything scary or suspenseful. So try to imagine my reaction when D mentioned us watching series The Walking Dead together. It was something like this…
I reluctantly agreed. He knows me better than anyone and is right about something I’d like 99% of the time, even when I make a great case against it. If he’s so sure I’d love the show once I got past the whole zOMG GROSS SCARY ZOMBIES thing then chances were pretty darn good that I’d love it. I warned him that he might glance over to see me curled up against the arm of the couch if I wasn’t hiding behind him.
Well, let me tell you…
Within the first 5 minutes I was squeezing my way in between him and the back of the couch.
“J, what. are. you. doing?”
“So the stuffie totin’ zombie doesn’t eat me.”
He laughed and scoot forward. The rest of the episode went just as I predicted. I was either curled up against the arm of the couch or hiding behind him.
When it was finally over, he asked if I liked it. “Uhm. I think so. But I have to drive home now and I don’t want to go outside because I don’t want a zombie to chase me between TheHut and ThePod.” He replies, “Don’t worry. Just yell if a zombie chases you and I’ll run them over with my Jordans.”
I got on the floor to give Freya a hug, accidentally staying there longer than I intended. She opened her eyes and let out a loud sigh. I looked up at D, who was smiling at me, and said, “Well, what if that bearing or whatever gives on ThePod and I break down on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere and zombies comes out of the woods and try to break into ThePod? It’s plastic so it’s not very durable like that tank. Or what if I’m too far for you to rescue and I make it through the first zombie attack and the tow truck gets there and there’s a zombie hiding on the flatbed and eats both me and TowTruckDude? Do zombies like boobies and legs? Maybe I should borrow some sweats and a hoodie.”
With a totally straight face he replied, “You don’t need sweats and a hoodie. You’ll get too warm. Just call and I’ll race there and run them over in the Firebird. In the unlikely event the tow truck somehow beats me there, the driver would know to check the flatbed before he leaves the garage. You’ll be fine.”
“Okay. If you think so.” And I left.
An hour and a half later…
“I made it. Safe & sound in my apartment. ThePod didn’t break & zombies didn’t jump me when I got out of the car. :) Hope you sleep well. Give Freya hugs for me.”
“See, I told you. G’nite.”
I’m such a reasonable adult.