I was going through one of my old dressers tonight, making room so I can give it to D. The dresser is one I brought down when I was in a hurry last year so I didn’t really go through the drawers. I pulled out the contents of the bottom drawer when I saw it… the Baby Snoopy material I bought to make my baby bedding. I still can’t believe it’s been 10 years.

I brought the stack of material out to the living room. I was visibly upset so D asked what was going on. I explained what I found and showed him the quilt material. Of course, Freya got excited and thought the quilt was for her. I folded it up and put it back on the stack of material.

I debated for a little while about what to do with the material. I don’t want to keep dragging it around with me anymore. D’s sister is due soon but she doesn’t know what she’s having and the material is pretty boy-ish. D asked why I don’t just hang onto it in case I have a baby later. Geez. Thanks for the gut punch. Sure, I’ll just hang onto the material I had for MiscarriageBaby in hopes that I might have a kid some day. Yes, that was the original plan but I’m a little more realistic now. I’m 39 years old, moving out on my own again, and have difficulties getting pregnant. I’m pretty sure I have a better chance at getting struck by lightning.

So, after a little bit of debating I decided to that I’m going to finish the quilt & give it to Freya then use the cotton to make a cover for her bed. She is my baby, after all. Besides, the adorable meter almost busted from the number of times she ‘asked’ to look at the quilt again.

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4 Responses to Oof.

  1. Jeanne says:

    D’s suggestion kind of made me raise an eyebrow. :-/ Good idea to use the fabric for something other than tossing it out. I have a hard time tossing out any amount of fabric!

  2. Kim says:

    I know it was a long time ago but I’m really sorry to read about your miscarriage. I can’t even imagine what you went through. My husband and I could never have children either. So we have animals instead. :) Cute idea to use the material for a Freya. I wish I could quilt.

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