Why Can’t I Find You?
I have a confession.
It’s 12 days before Christmas and I still don’t have my Christmas tree. Anyone that really knows me, knows that this isn’t the norm. I’m a “tree up Thanksgiving Weekend” sort of girl. I’m just sort of in an odd place right now. There have been the random attempts over the past week of me trying to get in the mood by baking Christmas cookies, working crafty magic on gifts, listening to Christmas music, wearing my amazing Christmas socks and a watching few movies here and there. But that’s just it… they’re attempts and, even though they’re really fun, they’re forced. It’s just not there. There have been a handful of years in the past when I got a late start but I’ve always found a way to bounce back within the first week of December. This year is a bit foreign to me.
My World is Changing, I’m Rearranging.
The last time my Christmas spirit got lost somewhere in my life drama, an amazing friend stepped in.
I met Kelly during the summer of 2007 through our friend Kim. The two of us hit it off immediately, bonding over booze and divorce… or something like that (really much more than that). Anyway, it was my first Christmas after the divorce and I was trying to adjust to living alone again. I called Kelly on Thursday evening when I finished work for the week. During our conversation I mentioned that I still had a naked Christmas tree in the living room but had no desire to decorate that or anything else. My heart just wasn’t in it. She dropped everything came right over – in a snow storm.
When Kelly got to my house I made a batch or few of Fabulous-tinis for us to enjoy while we decorated. What a night that turned out to be. We decorated, and laughed, and drank. Then decorated, laughed, and drank some more. The inside of the house, the tree and the Fab-tinis were finished within a few short hours. Of course, when we were finished we went out to celebrate our success but that’s a story for another time. Six years later, we still laugh over the silliness of that night. However, I’ll be forever grateful that someone I knew just a handful of months selflessly dropped everything to be there for me.
I’m Not The Same One, See What The Time’s Done
But I’m trying.
As I mentioned last week, not doing my traditional Christmas stuff sort of makes me feel “wah-wah” about the holidays as it is. Feeling detached from the people I’m close to doesn’t really help either.
So, I developed a plan.
First, tonight I’m making an epic batch of Mulled Cranberry-Orange Sangria. Next, I’m going to get a tree tomorrow morning… somehow. I need to figure out how it’s going to fit on or in ThePod. Said tree will get stuffed somewhere in TheHut – spot to be determined because I have no idea where it’s going to fit this year. While the tree is thawing, I’ll dig Mom’s ornaments out of storage. After all that, it should be well after noon & perfectly acceptable to start drinking my sangria. While I’m enjoying my delicious sangria, I’ll Skype my friends. I need this a lot. It’s crazy how much I miss them even though I just saw them Thanksgiving weekend. Finally, I’ll decorate the tree sometime in the evening.
Silly or whatever… I needed this plan.
The Joy of Christmas Stays Here Inside Us
I’ll keep going through the motions with the baking, the crafting, the music and socks. I’m enjoying it. Perhaps something will finally click where I don’t feel like I’m faking the Christmas Spirit part anymore.
Oh! My inspiration for this post… Where Are You Christmas by Faith Hill.