Last night was a really long night. I spent most of the night trying to come to terms with the possibility of a miscarriage. The more I read, the more I realized that there should be a heart beat by now. When they measured the gestational sac it was huge in comparison to the embryo (length measured at 11 weeks). It also had an abnormal shape – kind of like an hour glass laying on its side but only contained the one embryo.
When talking to Adam last night, I decided if they tell me I’m going to miscarry that I’m going to ask to have a D&C done instead of taking medication or just waiting for the miscarriage to happen. He wasn’t too thrilled with the idea but I told him it would be too hard on me waiting for the inevitable. And, if I end up resigning from my current job to move, I’ll lose my health insurance immediately and it would be at least a month before I’m insured again – unless I pay the insane premium for COBRA.
Being the great guy he is, Adam did his best to keep my smiling and happy all night. My stress level is staying pretty low. I’ve also spent most of the morning working on some wedding stuff to keep my mind off things. I’m even going to schedule a massage at the Day Spa in De Pere for sometime next week for a little pampering. I just know myself well enough that I have to prepare myself of what may happen cuz if I don’t & just keep giving myself the “everything’s going to be great” pep talk, it will be devastating should they tell me I’m going to miscarry. I’ll probably wait until after my next ultrasound on Friday to post again. See ya then!